a kindred spirit… She will be missed
Morgan: (to the press) Feel free to call me if you have any other background questions. My phone number is 702-555-0103.
Reporter: What is your name, sir?
Morgan: Doctor Spencer Reid — R-E-I-D.
Reid: (looks at ringing cell phone) Son of a bitch! (answers phone) Hi. This is Dr. Spencer Reid. I actually can come to the phone right now…with a very special message…your mother is…
Reid: Sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what got into me.
Reid: (whispering to Morgan) I will crush you.
Reid: (to Morgan through his MP3 player) We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement. Never wage a practical joke war with a MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AHHHHH!!!!!
(Morgan yanks off headphones)
Morgan: Okay, that was cute kid, but that’s all you got?
(Reid snores loudly then smiles when Morgan’s phone rings and he answers answers) Hey, baby gir…
Reid: (through phone) AHHHHH!!!!
(Rossi picks up a white towel and waves it)
Morgan: Uh, huh. All right Reid, it’s on. Just know that paybacks are a bitch.
(Reid snores loudly once again)
“what if the aborted baby could have cured cancer???”
oh my god what if the last egg I bled onto a kotex product could have cured cancer??
oh my god how am I not birthing every possible egg I produce, lest one of those resulting babies be the person who cures cancer/AIDS/creates world peace????
what if that baby could have been a musical artist described by pitchfork as “liberace with a metalcore twist”????
how dare i not be pregnant/birthing all the time always?????
when you mistake an 8 year old for Ariana Grande
Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.
Let these niggas know
she was dressed modestly to begin with though wtf
But obviously girl knees are so much more psychologically problematic to a developing adolescent than watching adults wield and flex the ability to humiliate powerless children with the excuse that the knees of children are inherently sexually stimulating
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*